Confusion - I

A recent visit to a wonderful Karst cave (limestone formation mostly) made me realize another instance of a confused population.

The guide told us in a strict tone, the "don't"s of the place. No touching the formations etc. Which was very good for I am not too sure how many people really would have kept away from touching the formations and taking their existence for granted.

So there I was happy that there was such importance given to see that the place remains as pristine as it can be, while on the other hand allow we humans to marvel at nature's glory without affecting it much so that this could be marveled by other coming generations too. It was praiseworthy that there was an emphasis on conservation.

But then comes the dichotomy in behaviour!!
The managers of the caves allow the flourishing practice of a "wishing well"! People drop coins with wishes in their hearts hoping for their fulfillment. The damage to the caves is the price that this practice causes.

This is how a technical web site on caves describes this practice:

"...As wishing wells are harmful to the cave and its formations, destroying the cave by releasing metal oxides into the clear cave water, they are usually nothing but a compromise with cave owners (who earn money with it) and visitors (who demand it)...."

So at one hand there seems to be emphasis on conserving this environment, seeing to it that the minimum amount of damage is caused, while at the other hand is the bowing down to the pressure of a practice which can be dangerous to the caves.

Apart from the "main" wishing well, there were many other pools that I noticed wherein tourists had dropped coins. Their hopes at the price of hopelessness for the caves.

It perhaps should be seen that the tourists are asked not to drop coins at any other place than at the main wishing well.

What I am worried is largely about the shallowness of the behaviour of the tourists. They realize upfront that this environment is fragile and their are specific "don'ts" to be followed. They realize that their actions could be harmful to this place and that it has to be allowed to be as it is. And then suddenly all this breaks down at the sight of an established wishing well and worse at the sights of pools of water, where the tourist wants to leave a trace of their presence.

I also wonder, why would a tourist drop a coin here? When this place has never been known to be a "wish-provider" place, why think that wishes will be fulfilled at this place?
I would rather expect some spots, which had a local long tradition of being lucky to be the sites for such wishing wells and not any beautiful natural place !!

Or is it a way in which man pays his respect to the tremendous beauty of nature? Nah...!!

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Tag: My Thoughts

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Marasim

As I hear to Gulzar's superb poetry in "Marasim", I wonder at the depth captured in the 2 lines:

"..din gujarata nahin hai, logon main,
raat hoti nahin basar tanha.."

(...can't spend the day amidst people,
can't spend the night in loneliness ...)

How can a poet live through all emotions? And know them so well as to squeeze the essence of life into a few lines?

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Tennis time..

oh yeah, I almost forgot, this is the summer and so this is tennis time !!

Gosh, I end up playing a lot sometimes. A field nearby to my place ensures that we can play at night times too. But what a pity that the lights go off at 11pm !!

But then this week was busy and could not play much. As a matter of fact, it was I who refused to go and play on weekdays, because there are so many more things which need to be done...as always....so much more to be done......

Tennis is a nice memory, which brings cheer to me. And I wake up sometimes, with the thought of a perfect ace, going down the middleline, perfectly and smoothly.

I am sure my old love, table-tennis must be feeling jealous at all the attention tennis is getting. But then what can I do if they decide to close down the "paid by the hour" table-tennis room for the WHOLE of summer !!!

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The Marriage Season

As the rains pour all through the rainy season, it seems that this is the marriage season.

From far and wide, I get mails from people with whom I was in constant touch or from people who rarely appeared in my inbox with one constant subject - "I am getting married" !

Good, I feel good for them. And of course wish them all the best. As they go along this new path, hand in hand. Sigh..so romantic !!

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The Caged Bird

From the archives - Monday, September 06, 2004
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I let the bird go, fly away from the cage I had so painstakingly made for it. Made with the best material available so that it would love to stay there.

And since then it hasn't returned back yet.

On some quite evening, thinking about it, I realized that the bird was never in the cage, never was it with me. I had woven the web around myself and deceived myself to see it. When I opened its cage, it was I that flew, freed from the cage......



(c) Deapesh.

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Gotta run...see u bye

From the archives - Thursday, June 09, 2005
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then she said,
"gotta run, see u soon, bye" and walked away on me.

I kept wondering, why did she do that, why did she just walk away like that without even registering my reaction to her leaving so suddenly.

It was mysterious. And it was sad.

I picked up what ever was remaining. And slowly made my way back home...slowly...head bent and shrugged shoudlers....sad.

The door opened with a creak. It was all dark inside. I switched the light on, put the radio on hoping that I would not be bombarded with some advertisement. Some song ran.
The windows need to be opened to let the late night breeze in. And along with that came the sweet smell of the Farangipani flowers outside my window.

The moon was right in front. As if to offer me some solace.

Yeah I was back with my friends, the evening breeze, the soft moonlight and the silent tree.

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Its not over,,,,,,

the same repeats..history itself.

The might of numbers, of attitudes, of the power of distrust, of suspicions, of fears, of hollowness within, the fear that everyone is out to kill.....its the same....nothing has changed with time.

Trust looses to the might of numbers, bows down to the numerous who never trust.

Its the same, just the same attitudes, the same ignorance. Oh where is the beauty of mankind? Where?

I see the same ugliness continuing....propagating down generations.

my hopes for the mankind lie ill,
My trust grows weaker,
looks for a corner to hide,
dwarfed by the giants of suspicion,
who only are to be found.

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Tag: My Thoughts

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Yahoo's My Web

Terribly excited about this new idea by Yahoo !
They are offering this service called "My Web" using which the users can store web pages in an area designated for them.

This is what they have to say:

1) Save thousands of pages. Search My Web to instantly “re-find” them.
2) Save an exact copy of the page. No more “Page Not Found” errors.
3) Organize pages into categories (travel, hobbies, etc.).
4) Access My Web Beta online from any computer (work, home, wherever).

Very interesting. Gotta learn more about this :)

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Women and compromise

The woman of the west is sad because she does not know how to compromise and the woman of the east is sad because all she can do is compromise.

Where then is freedom and true happiness? Is family a constant source of compromise for the woman?

Freedom is in being able to try and attain what one wants. To be able to do so and before that to be able to think that it is possible and attainable is being free. And all this needs strength.

So that is what should be the aim, to empower women so that they can choose for themselves.

Somewhere in between not knowing at all to compromise and knowing only to compromise, I expect, lies happiness and deliverance.

I would rather be free and sad than being chained and content.

Let freedom be possible first then we shall teach the way to make choices with this freedom.

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Tag: My Thoughts

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oooohhhhhh.....

HOLIDAYS BEGIN! !!! :)

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Time goes fast, Project goes slow

Exam week time!! :(


Time runs fast, though the project does not seem to be catching up with the time.

hurry,hurry...run..run....pant...pant!
no don't stop, get up, get going,
a few hundred thousand miles more,
a few minutes left,
run...run....faster faster....
tick tock tick tock.........
faaaaaaaster....

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The Fight

"Come on, what do you take me to be? How long can I stand this? No, no, no, no longer.
My mind is made up!!" S told me when I tried to butt into the fight.

A stood there sheepishly, like a little kid who has dropped the chocolate for which it had made such a big fuss. A just kept quiet and stood there in the corner.

I had no idea what I was walking into when I tried to get S and A on the table to talk it out.

Seems that there a fight had been brewing from a long time. Gosh !! And I never had a clue, right under my hand! I am a fool not to have seen this.

And now, on retrospection when it always happen, I see those little things which should have given me a hint. R would sometimes now and then sneak in between A and E though it was not supposed to be in between them. And how many times had N run away from D and A had always covered it up. Gosh !!

Anyway, now what? What do I do with these chaps. A huge bunch they are. The worst thing is that I have got used to them just the way they are and many others also would have undoubtedly. If I rearrange their places, that would put a lot of us into such discomfort. Perhaps, we could re-learn, maybe yes we could. It just would be a matter of time.

But then there must have been a strong reason for them to be assigned their places. What about that? And could we just allow them to rearrange according to their wishes?

A would definitely choose D, T would go next to E and many many more such rearrangements.

oooooof...I can't handle this. I better inform the higher authorities. I am sure they will be shocked to know this.

Never had I thought....


(c) Deapesh.

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Nobody leaves..

a note when they stop by here.

Wonder who it was who was here on the door? Did he/she knock and be disappointed to not see me in or was it some passing stranger who has lost the way?

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Tag: Literature Prose

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56 years and 43 pages.

56 years and 43 pages. "That long?" you may ask, yeah, that is the truth, sad eh?

But it depends on how you look at it. The experience counts right? There are advantages which are obvious and experience is one.

"But surely, it could have been done earlier!!" you incredulously gasp and with your eyes rolled towards the skies, you wonder at my level of foolishness.

You think so, they all think so too. Ask any of them. They still do perhaps as confidently as they thought many years ago when I told them. Yes, they still do I guess.

Old habits die hard.

I remember when it all started. That evening by the lake. I don't remember any other fascinating details about that evening such as anything that an interesting novel would provide and satisfy your senses, but all I remember is that it was quite hot that evening and I had a bath late that night. It was indeed a long time back.

Pages can get crumpled, they get old too and with age it becomes hard to read what was once written on them. Memories fade and so does the ink on sheets of paper.

So what do I do with such crumpled sheets? Grey and showing wear and tear, I hardly make out what was written. It is interesting though to read the sentences and then guess the missing parts. Do try it sometime. You will almost feel as if you are an author. What shapes you, decides what fills in the missing parts and as you fill them you will actually realize yourself.

Yes, it is fun.

But it strains the eyes. To look at the words, the letters, look at their incomplete strokes and make up for the losses. I would suggest a nice table lamp. Perhaps a cup of coffee and a comfortable chair and a peaceful night too, will go great.
And then you tell me, how long it takes. OK?

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Tag: Literature Prose

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The warm afternoon

23 Canadian Geese flew overhead. Slowly and orderly. Wings flapping in unison - flap-flap-flap. I couldn't hear the flapping but it must have gone

flap-
flap-
flap-
flap.....


The only disharmony perhaps was their randomly placed calls. Now and then an odd loud cackle. Nobody answered from earth except for my mind.

A few bright red tulips were swaying in the gentle breeze of the warm afternoon. Did they hear the geese? Did they?

And did the dark moist ground around them see the Geese? Did it?

A little house by the roadside of a curving lane stood mute. Hiding all the life within its walls. No intruder would be a part of that, let imagination be but no reality leaked out through the walls. The windows were partly opened, just enough for the outside life to get in while the inside life still was secure within.

A rustle in the undergrowth. While another flock of Geese flew overhead. A butterfly whispered something to a half opened flower and quickly moved away. Perhaps it was teasing the flower.

A perfect warm afternoon. Perfect ! But where was I? Where?

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Tag: Literature Prose

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Happy undergrads and locked grads

The temperatures are dropping low. That was not supposed to happen ! This is the spring season. To validate this statement, there are patches of pretty flowers all through the campus. I guess they would be called lilies, yellow ones, orange ones and deep red ones. Very pretty indeed. But then these are not wild growths. Planted in patches to make it look wild, that's all !!

Generally the day is nice and warm while by nights the temperatures drop. It will soon be time when the days and nights will be nice and warm. BUT it will soon be time for the exams too. That is the problem, there is not much time to enjoy the weather and life in general. All nice days are spent in the labs...sad sad...while the "happy undergrads" bask themselves in the sun daily!! A big picnic area it becomes..the green lawns. Guys and gals lying on it, classes being held outside, groups hanging around, looks cool fun. But the grads, at least some for sure are locked in their labs, between the same walls unchanging and unyielding.

When they walk out of their labs, they get to see the burst of life. And perhaps this is a greater joy since all things in bits and pieces lead to a higher feeling of joy, beauty is perhaps enhanced by contrasts.

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An outburst of JOY

A wall....
silent, mute, solid grey wall,
standing from ages at the very same spot, just there, a wall.

Its walls weathered, having faced the ravages of time,
the grey cold wall, stood there from a long time and stands there today
and will probably stand for a long time.

In front of it, damp earth.
Dampened by the day before's rain.

And there in a clump, swaying with the wind,
is an outburst of joy.
few yellow flowers swaying with the wind.
few yellow flowers defying the wall,
growing in the moist mud,
swaying happily with the wind,
an outburst of joy.

(c) Deapesh.

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Rain, Geese and Earthworms

It has been raining here for sometime now. Today we had a lot of rain too. And the best was when there was a dramatic formation of dark clouds in the evening. The sun's rays were adding more drama to the visual extravaganza.

2 Canadian Geese have made our plaza (the open space surrounded by apartments) their home (temporary?). A little grass lawn is where they spend all their time. They seem to be a couple. The male generally looks out on guard while the female feeds on the lawn. They also cackle a LOT! Its one of the few sounds which almost wake me up (wish my alarm clock could cackle!!). I can see them partially from the partial view I have through the room window. A nice couple.

Earthworms are almost everwhere in the school sidewalks (foothpaths). Lone ones, short ones and squished ones are the most seen! Its tough to avoid stepping on them, but I manage most of the times.

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First day of Internship and job fair

Today was the first day of the internship and job fair. Out of the many many companies that came to the campus, there were not many who were for Grad students in the IT sector and among these few quite a lot of them were looking for students who were US citizens.

Stood in long queues, along with the other desis to hand "1 or 2 page only" resumes.

Typically the conversation would start:

company official: "Hi, how are you today?" and then his/her name.
we respond: "Hi, how are you?, my name is..."

then a brief exchange of words relating to the company and the work, perhaps a few questions. Then after handing over the resume,

company official: "Thank you for visiting us. It was nice meeting you".
we respond: "thank you for your time, appreciate that. It was nice meeting you too".

-END-
go to next company's table.
-REPEAT-

that was it, a tiring day!!

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Spring is here

Although it is still cold, but for sure the spring is here !! :)

Last week after a loong time heard some birds, the Canadian Geese are heard honking as they fly overhead back to Northern destinations, the days are warmer (though the nights are still cold!!) and calendar wise, the spring break is over, so for sure the spring is here !!

It has also been raining here. The first rains!

Typically after the spring break or around that period, the days are warm and so one is tempted to wear light, but then the nights are so cold that if one wore only light clothes thinking that the day was nice, one would freeze! So in the mornings I carry a big jacket which looks so incongruous since it is nice and warm at that time, but then the same incongruous jacket helps me from shivering in the night and becomes such a life saver.

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